By Sam Wildow
NOTE: This is a follow-up to my last column, in which I mentioned that I got engaged and everything is wonderful now.
So I got engaged and everything is wonderful now, except I had to return to real life with real responsibilities where I have to continue to take out the trash. There are some weird things about being engaged and having to plan a wedding, though. Almost immediately after I got engaged, I went to bed since it was 2 a.m. When I woke up five hours later, I started noticing and thinking about those weird things.
• Weird thing #1: I woke up, I was still engaged, and it was not a dream.
• Weird thing #2: We had to start telling people at that point. We also had to do it in a specific order, in a specific time frame, and in a specific way or face the wrath of people I see a couple times a year.
With the exception of my parents and brother, whom I see usually once a week, I opted for the “face the wrath” option as I got very overwhelmed after only telling five people. I took two naps before I Snapchatted and Facebooked my engagement to my small number of remaining friends and acquaintances.
• Weird thing #3: At least two people on social media made passive-aggressive posts about having to see engagements “in general” posted on Facebook after I posted about my engagement. This is my passive-aggressive response, suggesting that we should let people have their moments or just keep scrolling.
• Weird thing #4: “Have you set a date yet?”
I think this has just become the thing to ask people after we find out they are engaged. Even if people do have a date set, I never really know what to do with that information until about a week before the wedding and I’m making my weekend plans.
I also wonder if it is a way to determine how serious the couple is about getting married and staying together. Does the sooner a wedding happens make the couple more committed to each other? If anyone has ever seen all of season four of “Friends” – where Ross marries Emily after approximately three months and he says the wrong name while giving his vows – we know that is probably not the case.
“It’s just a television show.”
Then why is it so relatable?!
• Weird thing #5: Like I mentioned earlier, I had to take out the trash. I also had to clean my bathroom. I am basically a Disney princess now; I do not want to go back to doing chores.
• Weird thing #6: I Googled how much an average wedding cake costs. I then tried to figure out how much it would cost to make one from scratch, and then I remembered that I am really bad at math.
• Weird thing #7: I Googled how much the average venue for a wedding costs. I then told my parents that we are going to be having it at their house.
• Weird thing #8: I tried to talk my boyfriend/fiancé into eloping.
“We’ve been dating for almost three years now, we should do it right.”
That was my paraphrase of him telling me “no.” It was also a disappointment to me that I will not be able to follow in the footsteps of my favorite author, Meg Cabot, who eloped to Italy on April Fool’s Day.
• Weird thing #9: In connection with #6 and #7, having a wedding costs a lot. We have taken something sacred and turned it into an industry, an elite social status, and a fantasy that we can never live up to.
Even if I did spend the average amount of money spent on a wedding – which is approximately $31,000, according to TheKnot.com, and is more than I owe on my student loans – will that make me even more happy than if I throw an impromptu wedding in a couple years and tell everybody to bring their own lawn chairs?
• Weird thing #10: Everything in my life still feels the same, but also completely different at the same time. We always sort of knew that we were heading in this direction, but now it feels like my future is somewhat more defined and more serious. I have taken to whispering, “For the rest of your life…” after I do or say something annoying to tease him. We know none of our flaws are going to magically disappear after we get married, and we both can feel the seriousness around the promises we plan to make.
Even so, I still cannot wait.